In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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