in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
