took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
