you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
