I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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