dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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