some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
