Is it normal to miss your booty call?
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
