How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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