One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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