You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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