the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
