i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
