am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
