drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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