yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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