More tranny stories later!
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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