did you get engaged???
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
