there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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