this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
