you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm at about main and main street
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
