i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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