i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
