You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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