dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
