Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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