my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
