Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
