Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
