No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
