apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
