Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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