I want to have your abortion
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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