Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
