you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
