i dedicated my morning wood to you.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
