3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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