i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
