K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
