: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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