Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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