I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
