her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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