I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
