Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
