Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
