i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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