Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Randomize
