someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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