google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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