he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
