He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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