I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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